I haven’t blogged about my ADHD diagnosis last year. And I really don’t want to get into it right now – it needs a blog post of it’s own.
That said, I had a thought today about needing to stay busy to stay out of trouble. For some ADHD people, the urge to keep busy (which typically in our society means working) is strong. And, to be clear, I don’t always feel the need to keep busy, I have times of wanting stillness and peace.
Based on my experience, this whole idea of busy, working, self-care, self-worth is a real struggle AND huge in the ADHD community. It also deserves a blog post of it’s own.
Back to the topic at hand. I am not entirely 100% on this thought, which is why I am sharing it here – I hope kind people can help me think thought it. Here goes:
The actual thought
Most of my adult life, I have been saying that I am like a working dog, I need to keep myself busy to stay out of trouble.
I am not so sure on that today. What if it really is – When I keep myself really busy I don’t have the time or energy to see the troubles in my life.
Trouble in our lives is just a part of being a human in relationships. So maybe I get “into trouble” whether I am busy or not – it’s just being busy keeps me from seeing it. And when I am not busy I have the time and space to actually notice and get concerned about the trouble.
Not keeping busy is NOT the cause of my troubles. It’s appearance when I am not busy is actually me just slowing down, doing self-care, and seeing it.
I am conflicted on this one. Maybe it’s not an either or, maybe it sometimes one thing and sometimes another. Or maybe it’s happening at the same time.